


A gaping hole in my soul [or how tony learns the meaning of Ohana ]

by covalentbonds



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Bucky Is a Good Bro, Characters are probably OOC read at your own risk, Clint/Coulson mentions, Coulson is badass, Everyone is a dick unintentionally but they make up for it, Everyone should just listen to JARVIS, Fluff and Angst, Fury is kind of an asshole, Gen, He needs everyone's love, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Natasha/Bruce mentions, Ohana, Overworked Tony, Pre-slash Steve/Tony - Freeform, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Thor, Self-Hatred, THEY ALL LOVE TONY, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is reckless, Tony needs your love, after avengers 2012, always ready to sacrifice himself -tony, but a hopeless one too, fluff abound, he knows best, he's lovable, selfless tony, tony love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6387892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covalentbonds/pseuds/covalentbonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asking  for help is a weakness , That's what Tony was made to believe .<br/>When you have no one else , you've got to do it yourself . That's what Tony found out .<br/>There is a difference , he knows , but no one would ever bother to help Tony Stark , now would they ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. nothing to lose

-Barton’s arrows-  
-better finger motion sensors for Bucky’s arm-  
-Natasha and Steve’s Bodysuit-  
-Natasha’s widow bite-  
-War Machine repairs-  
-Transmitting device for Hulk- -Internal circuitry repair ( suit leg )-  
-Outer impact repair ( Suit torso )-  


“Sir.”

-Dummy and You’s updates-  
-Butterfingers manual recalibration-  
-JARVIS’ antivirus upgrades-  
-Helicarrier engine efficiency 35% increase-  
-New Stark OS for Tarklets-  
-Board meeting , convince members for arc reactor investment-  
-Calibrate arc reactor for city electricity use again-  
-Charity gala for Orphanages-  
-meeting with the World Security Council for Bruce-  


“Sir , I must ask…”  


-Comm upgrade for SHIELD agents-  
-Code repair for malfunctioning SHIELD program-  
-De-sensitive-ize Electronics around Thor-  
-Bifrost repair meeting with Jane and Reed-  
\- go down to R & D for checking on the newest satellite data-  
-fix bugs in the heart monitor prototype-  


“SIR! Its been exactly 67 hours since you have last slept and 73 without any solid food intake and you’ve had 16 cups of coffee in the last 10 hours and your body levels indicate extremely low levels of nutrition and you still haven’t gotten your ribs checked out , neither your ankle and-  


“JARVIS, honey breathe.” Tony looked up from where he was twisting a delicate piece of wire inside the leg of the suit , trying to untangle it.  
“I will eat something after I finish this-”  
The Avengers alarm started blaring.  
Tony was out of there before you could say –fucking fuckity doombots .  
“Or not.” JARVIS muttered sullenly .  


* * *

“Iron man , where are you going?” Captain America’s voice stopped Tony just before he was taking off .  
Tony sighed and breathed . His each and every muscle felt like tar was swimming through them , his eyes felt like lead and he just wanted to catch the half an hour of sleep , he would it get in the suit while JARVIS piloted it back to the tower. Not that he could give that as a excuse .  


His health and sleeping habits were his own concerns and if he told the team he was exhausted – _which he was Tony Stark so just no_ \- they would probably throw him off it .  
Because if a superhero can’t take care of his own damn self , how was he supposed to protect the rest of the masses ?  
Not that the rest of them had jobs instead of this fight evil-jig _or_ were a consultant to an agency , which if got angry again , would throw him off the pretty little boy band .  
Not like he needed the team or anything which well ...okay who was he lying to? , this was the least lonely he had been in years and well if _working to death_ was just what it took . He thought with a sardonic grin.  
“Why Captain , I thought I finished my number of flamosters .” 

Half lobsters – half flamingos animals – creatures- created by a psychopath, what was his life even . He blinked .  
“Yes , but we need to be present for the debriefing.”  
“Hmm okay.” Just what he needed .  
“See you there then.” Steve said , his voice carrying a bit of suspicion .

* * *

“Stark!”  
**You are such a motivator**  
**gotta get your way** ,  
**so sick of saying yes sir! yes sir!**  
“Stop the music , J and open the face plate , in that order.” Natasha would kill him , if she knew that he barely listened to the de-briefing , playing Maroon 5 instead .  
The face plate retracted back with a whoosh sound .  
“Yes , Sir ?” He blinked innocently at Fury who gave him the darkest look he had received since Howard , after he corrected his calculation in front of the board members , not to forget that scar on his forearm where Howard later smashed a bottle on , what a shame , it was a expensive one too .  
“Where are the specs for the energy efficiency increase?” Fury had a nerve popping out of his throat .  


Tony mused , how bad would it be if he gave the director of SHIELD a heart attack ? he decided to give it a try .  
“Can’t be done.”  
All of them stared at him .  
Well , he felt flattered , at least they didn’t doubt Tony’s genius .  
“What?” Fury spat  
“I mean it can’t be done in the budget you assigned for it , it will need at 2.57 million dollars more.”  
“What?” Fury was imitating a child , with only one word in his vocabulary .  
“Yeah , the engine blades need to be coated in an alloy of gold titanium , to protect them from air resistance , and gold-titanium costs.” He twirled his chair .  
“Cost efficient and work nicely , who picked them out , Coulson?”  
Clint chuckled . “Probably.” He twirled his chair too . Natasha glared at him . He sat up with a grin and twinkle of fear in his eyes .  
Bucky coughed something along the lines of ‘whipped’ but stopped as Natasha drummed her nails on the table , not even looking at him . He slid behind Steve , not subtly .  
Bruce looked exhaustively from Thor’s shoulder , then closed his eyes again , as if dismissing them as not important .  
Thor just merely grinned in his 'I'm the mighty Thor' way .  
Steve looked at them all pointedly .  
“So what do you want me to do , Stark?” Fury looked at Tony .  
“The fuck , how do I care , it’s your engine , your efficiency , your budget . You asked me for specs , right? J dear send it to Maria rive-Hill , please.” He made a motion with arms as if saying ‘there , all done’  
Fury gritted his teeth . “I don’t have money for this , Stark.”  
Tony stared at him .  
“Can- Would stark Indus-  
“Nope , we won’t invest in SHIELD , we don’t and we never will.” Tony popped his words out .  
“How about your endless personal weal-  
“Oh you mean the huge amount of money that I have left after giving most of it to charities , repair works , into your boy band’s feeding and clothing ? Yeah that money is used for my suits. So until you want an Iron man to fight off whatever evil villain shows up next ....” Fury frowned .  
Tony smiled and got up , his suit making clanking noises on the reinforced floor.  
“Well , we need the suit , not the person inside it.” Fury muttered snidely . Tony froze , for such a insignificant amount of time that even Natasha couldn’t have noticed it . And thought about all the work , effort , sleepless nights where he actually wanted to sleep but didn’t , body demanding rest but staying up due to sheer will and made his way out of the room , then out of the corridor and into the sky .  
“J take care of me , yeah ?”  
“Always , Sir.”  
He closed his eyes .


	2. it just doesn't end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> although i did tag it , this chapter contains implied child abuse . Minor mentions .

Tony reached the tower in half an hour [due to a very lazy speed, his suit could make it in five minutes tops if he wanted it to ] and made his way out of the suit sluggishly down to his lab.  
“Okay top three things in my list J.”  
“The left leg repair, Mr. Barton’s grappling arrows, Ms.Romanov’s widow bites.”  
“Hmm...” Tony thought over it. Natasha’s main weapon was her bites, so obviously that first, then his suit leg and then Barton’s arrows.  
“Give me the specs for the bites with the new modifications I suggested last week and tell DUM-E to make me some more coffee without grease in it please and thank you.”  
He started the minute detail work on Natasha’s bites, hands trembling slightly. He refused to accept it was due to much needed sleep though; it was something coffee would cure. DUM-E whirred by him with a mug with ‘Fuck yeah! Engineers’ written on it clutched in his hand. He also made a sad noise when Tony peered into the cup to check for grease.

“Don’t give me that look you tragedy. I had to force puke myself last time due to grease in it." He shuddered as he remembered that incident.

DUM-E made a series of noises consisting of short beeps, long beeps. Clink and Clanks.  
“What’s he saying J?”  
JARVIS sounded almost amused when he answered. “DUM-E just wanted you to work more smoothly Sir.”  
“You utter horror of a machine, grease makes machines run smoothly. I’m pretty sure it kills humans!” Tony spoke, hiding his laugh.  
DUM-E backed away in guilt.  
“Hey, hey its okay, you know now don’t you? Don’t do it again, okay?” Tony patted him on the top of the hand. He swirled his coffee by shaking the mug and drank it in one single gulp.  
“Okay back to work, then.” He sat down on the chair with a screw in his hand and got lost into his work.  
After about thirty minutes, the widow bites were not only repaired but upgraded too. Natasha better thank him for that. He looked for his suit that was standing in the corner on sentry mode and got up.  


The floor shook under him and his eyes couldn’t focus and _woah, ___he stopped himself from falling by clutching the end of the table. He took two deep breaths, then three and steadied himself. But to no avail, because as he took another step he felt dizzy again. The seventeen steps to the suit seemed like an endless distance now. Barton’s grappling arrow kept on the next work table seemed so much more accessible.  
Yeah, he thought tiredly, he should just do that first and took the next three steps with great effort, reigning in his nausea.  
The work on the arrows wasn’t too much. The rope had gotten tangled into one of the main sensors inside the arrow shaft and needed to be dislodged. Easy work that took him an embarrassingly long time [see: thirty minutes] due to his vision fading in and out. He placed the arrow back and looked at the suit again and steeled himself before suddenly noticing the suffocating silence in his lab.

“J why is there no music, I want music, give me some music.”  
“How about some sleep instead, Sir?”  
Tony peered into one of JARVIS’ cameras.  
“Music, now J.”  
“Sir, in exactly seven minutes, my subroutine will force me to tell Ms.Potts about your lack of sleep, food and hygiene. I’m sure you do not want that.” He didn’t sound sad about it, so Tony sleepily thought that –hey sadist A.I, masochist owner.  
He got up; more like dragged himself to the very comfortable, very dirty couch in the corner and fell on it. He was asleep soon enough.  
The blackness behind his eyes after three days of non-stop work was so soothing that he almost didn’t want to leave it behind. Here, he could rest. No Pepper, Steve, Fury bothering him. Here he could give rest to his admittedly genius but still human self. Calm, soothing –  
“Sir!” huh?  
“Sir, I insist you wake up right now .Ms.Potts is making her way down here and she does not look pleased.”  
Did she, ever?  
He roused from the couch.  
“How long was I out for JARVIS?”  
“3 hours and 23 minutes, Sir.” Tony shrugged. Long enough.  
“Bring up the schematics, for Bucky’s arm.” Steve had told him yesterday , that Bucky was again having a problem with it –which he wouldn’t if he let Tony install a new arm- but anyway he checked the most recent scans , isolating a stray piece of wire in a piece in the forearm.  
“Sir Ms.Potts is using her override-  
“Tony!”  
“Pep, you know those are just for emergencies right?”  
“And do _you_ know what you didn’t attend today?” Her tone was ice cold.  
Was that a rhetoric question, because obviously if he missed it, he didn’t know!  
He again peeked at the camera, motioning JARVIS to help him. But Pepper carried on –  
“It was so difficult to get General Chester, to come for the meeting related to the body armor, the military already views Stark industries in the lowest lights-  
“After years of excellent service, we now choose to help protect, instead of kill and they have-”  
“ _**That is not the issue here Tony!** ___” Pepper outright screamed. Tony flinched. In all his years of knowing her, this had happened very few times. Yes, there was annoyance, anger, disappointment on a daily basis, but she didn’t scream at him.  
Well now he could place a tick to one of the things in his ‘things that I thought will never happen’ list. It was right below – Coulson losing his cool and above – Fury kissing a toad.  
“You! You don’t understand the meaning of responsibilities or the image of the company or even my image! I made excuses for you for half a bloody hour before everybody realized that you weren’t coming. General Chester stormed off Tony! How are we ever going to get this in market now? It is less important but have you ever thought about what they think of me, as the head of the company? Already I am a woman, in a man’s world but I was your personal assistant! They all think that I’m your puppet, to control and fuck! All the hard earned respect I won is gone all over again .Just because you couldn’t manage to drag you ass up 17 floors.”  
Her face was red, her chest was heaving and there was mist in her eyes. “Please tell me you have a valid reason Tony, please, for the sake of our friendship?” Her voice was soft, begging.  
He didn’t – couldn’t answer her. What would he say? _‘Sorry for ruining your life Pep, but I was sleeping?’ ___His eyes didn’t face her and there was a hitch in her breath, then the swift turning of her heels as she marched out. Without looking back, stopping or hesitating.  
He looked for his most trustworthy friend. Before the team, Pepper, JARVIS, Rhodey, DUM-E, before anyone.  
_Alcohol._

* * *

His second bottle of expensive scotch just finished, when Steve entered. He kept the bottle down and twirled his chair.

He hadn’t lock downed the lab? Huh.  
“What can I do for you, Cap?”  
There was honest disappointment in Steve’s eyes.  
“I was hoping, you found out the problem in Bucky’s arm, the pain is increasing, he won’t say it of course but I noticed it.” Tony sighed, way to make him feel guilty.  
“I’ve actually found the problem, Cap .It’s a stray wire, electrocuting his inner plates. Get him down here, I will remove it.”  
Steve frowned.  
“You are inebriated, Tony.” That was Cap for you. So proper. Always .Not smashed, piss drunk. But in-eb-ri-fucking-ated .  
“Yes, but I can function well enough, I’ve got a high tolerance. And I know machines like you know your shield, so-  
He froze as he saw Steve’s face turning from badly disguised pity to cold anger.  
“He is and never will be a machine.” His words were punched with spaces and so so stilted, like he was tired of repeating it to person after person. His face was the appropriate picture for thundering.  
“And if I ever hear you say that again Tony, God help me-  
_“Tony you brat! You think you’re so smart huh?”_  
_“Is this the best you can do ? Pathetic.”_  
_“I thought you’d make me proud Tony, but you would disappoint even the best of men, even Steve.”_  
_The last one had hurt the worst. It was when he was seven and still worshiped Captain America. The most noble, the savior of all. He was seven and he finally figured out how to increase the velocity of his toy car, without destroying its structural integrity. It could now move up to 80 km/h. He was happy and then he was not. He was okay but then he had a glaring red bruise on his cheek. He was a fan but then he hated him. Hated Steve for becoming one of the many who were constantly disappointed in him. How would a small child of seven understand that one person could not speak for another? But all that wasn’t false was it? The great Captain America was disappointed in him, in Howard’s words and in real life too_  
“Sir? Captain Rogers left the lab two minutes ago, should I call someone, your heart beat is alleviated ...”  
“N-No No, JARVIS, I’m fi –fine.” Tony rasped coming out of the horrible flashback and picking up another bottle from the shelf. “Or I will be, soon”. He chugged it down.

* * *

When the alarm started blaring, Tony was slumped down in a corner of his lab, pitifully drunk and covered with a blanket courtesy of DUM-E.  
He didn’t open his eyes as he woke up , because there was a very loud throbbing in his head and his mouth felt like a rat died in there and he couldn’t breathe properly and it ..it was too hot. He kicked off the blanket, the cool temperature of the lab soothing his burning skin. 

“JAR-JARVIS?” His voice sounded like he had swallowed grit.  
“There is an incident in the upper east side of the city sir, four teenagers who appear to be mutant are destroying city property and the NYPD can’t control them. Also, your temperature is 100.2 Fahrenheit , which indicates a growing fever and your ribs and ankle are not healing properly .It is my suspicion that you may be developing an infection.”  
“Yeah, no J can’t do .Get some amoxyclin from the drugstore.”  
“Yes, sir.” JARVIS sounded long suffering, and the fact that he didn’t even suggest staying home was proof to his intimate knowledge of his very stubborn creator.  
“What’s the situation, Iron man?” Captain America asked as Tony flew over the area where the rebel mutants were destroying things. Expensive things.  
“Two of them seem to have Telekinesis, one is lit up like a freaking lighter and the other one is projecting energy beams.” Nowhere as powerful as his repulsors though, he thought smugly.  
“Okay Widow, contact Charles and tell him to send one of his teams down.”  
“Hawkeye, position?”  
“On the building to your left.”  
“Use only non-fatal arrows Hawkeye .”  
“Aye – aye captain.”  
“Bruce, sit this one out, we really don’t need the Hulk.”  
“Gladly, Steve.”  
“Iron Man air support, Thor with me.”  
The battle was easy going, well as easy a battle can be. The kids seem to only want to make a point but not really harm anyone .Steve was continuously talking them down –Are you sure this is what you want to do with your life? Destroy public property? , and Tony was having fun dodging debris that one of the telekinetic girls was throwing at him. Sure, he could have blasted it to kingdom come, but why waste repulsors power when he didn’t even have to? Or that’s what he thought .The continuous motion was making his head throb louder and his eyes were getting dizzy and when the girl launched another big piece of earth at him .He very narrowly dodged it.  
But the piece continued in his trajectory and fell straight onto the van on side where Bruce was waiting .SHIT! FUC-“BRUCE! RUN!”  
There wasn’t enough time, there wasn’t enough space-but there was a chilling roar. Of the Hulk .Tony sighed. Bruce was okay.  
Or not. As the Hulk emerged from the broken van, looking angrier than ever and ran towards the girl who gave a squeak and started throwing more things at the Hulk, which didn’t help, at all.  
Tony flew in front of the Hulk with his arms raised in a ‘calm down’ motion.  
“Hulk, its okay she didn’t do that on purpose.” He even opened his face plate, facing the incoming nausea due to bright light.  
“Tin man, idiot, Tin man let Bruce hurt.” Okay, ouch.  
In his defense …he had to say nothing. His carelessness almost let one of the most wonderful men on earth. The Zen, genius, friendly-awkward Bruce die. His legacy as Iron man was no greater than that of his other name- ‘merchant of death.’ At least then he didn’t put his friends in danger.  
“I’m sorry Hulk, I really am, but please don’t harm the girl. She didn’t mean it.” His face must have looked pitiful because the Hulk sneered before turning back into a confused Bruce who slumped down to the street.

* * *

“Does someone want to explain me, what the fuck happened?” Fury boomed.  
Everyone stared at Tony, including Bruce.  
Tony gulped.  
Natasha snorted. “Nothing really, Tony Stark in his usual fashion let one of his team mates fall in danger due to his unmentioned reasons which by my estimates are a hangover.”  
Steve suddenly sat up straight. Tony breathed in relief, Steve knew he would-  
“Tony! What is wrong with you? If you were still hung over, you shouldn’t have come.”  
Or not.  
He didn’t reply. One, because he was a little hung over and two because he didn’t want to tell anyone that he mostly was, sick.  
Better to be known as an uncaring alcoholic than a man who was so desperate for praise and attention that he worked too much and got himself sick.  
“Stark, I do not care about your genius-” Tony snorted softly, even if he didn’t care about it, he sure did demand a lot from his genius.  
“I do not care about your money.” Yeah right, not till SHIELD would have to budget his little boy band, he wouldn’t.  
“This, is your mess and you will clean it up.” How exactly, he wondered. By working more? , by giving more money of his?  
“The press conference is in half an hour.” What the fuck?! His sudden manner of sitting up must have showed his incredulousness because Fury smirked. At least they couldn’t see his face behind the plate.  
“Oh does the little – wittle Iron Man need rest after the battle he almost ruined?”  
Tony grit his teeth, he didn’t want it, no. But he needed it. His temperature, when last checked was above 101 and his head ache was going into a full blown migraine soon and he still hadn’t taken his antibiotics .  
He nodded. Fury grinned. “Too bad, if you don’t do this, everyone would blame Hulk and the military would only have more reason to take in Bruce.” Bruce’s breath hitched. Everyone stared at him, furious. But not like he hadn’t already steeled his mind and body as soon as he soon as he realized it.  
“Fine, get me some makeup and a suit.” He whispered. Fury nodded while Clint and Bucky grinned, kind of mockingly whispering something about his good looks betraying him. No! He wanted to scream, I just don’t want to look like hell warmed over , which I am definitely right now .  
He didn’t though . Just made his way to the room Fury told him about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you can please ? They help a lot! You guys are the best people in the world and you deserve a virtual cookie *hands a cookie*


	3. this one can't be fixed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i was sure , i could wrap it in three chapters but i didn't want to wait too long before updating .  
> So here's chapter 3 . ( which i know is wayyy too small but it's a filler before the shit goes down.)

He strode in the room , battle ready . Expensive suit , obnoxious glasses , a strut in his steps that annoyed everyone . It was the whole ‘Tony Stark’ experience . He wouldn’t say it was fake exactly . It was not . It was him, just for people who were hidden vultures . Or else wise known as the media. There were so many flashes that Tony could have sworn no one taught them how to use a camera and the shouts _oh god , the shouts_ .

He ignored it all and went to the seat he was assigned to , in the center place among all the avengers . Nothing new really , he was sure Natasha could be charming when she needed too ( but she preferred stoic silences and dark glares ) and Steve was very good at the ‘Look , I’m captain America , are you really gonna argue with me?’ face mixed with his ‘aw-shucks I am just a simple fella from Brooklyn , excuse my mistakes' face. (But sometimes he just got too righteous and was not willing to hide things from the public ). Thor knew how to smooch up too , being in the line for the throne it was a must (But his voice , it _boomed_ ) . Bruce really didn’t get any trouble from them on his face . (No one needs to mention why) . Clint was usually ignored (and whenever asked something , he’d joke his way out of it) . Bucky was left alone ( because no one was cruel enough to put a man so tortured , on the spot ) .  
So who did that leave? Tony . The one who knew how to spin media onto his fingers since he was _three_. He directed all the attention on him so subtly through his assholishness that mostly no on else got trouble .

The rest of them were already there and he was late as usual . He always believed in making a dramatic entrance , it made people focus on him more . He took his seat with aplomb and gave a charming grin .

“Let the fun start.” He spoke , his voice a tad bit deeper than normal . The splitting headache , rising fever , body ache , exhaustion , malnutrition hid behind an unusually fragile mask ,this was becoming too close of a call , he needed to go like thirty minutes ago . Deciding to be on his best behavior to wrap this thing up fast , he took a deep breath . 

“Mr. Stark , what can you tell us about what happened just a mere hour ago?” A man in those cheap velvet suits spoke .  
There was so many ways he could get about this . But he decided to take the easiest one .  
“It was like an uncontrolled teen party , only they just had something extra to share.” He shrugged . Okay so maybe his best behavior wasn’t the best according to normal standards.  
“They were Mutants , yes? Just one of the many reasons Mutants need to be put in check.”  
Tony peered over his obnoxiously colored glasses .  
“They were mutants , yes . But before that they were hormonal teenagers . You do not blame a whole community for the actions of a few . Should I say no media worker knows respect due to what that pervert interviewer did four days ago?” The man flushed , not meeting his eyes .  
Tony made a ‘someone else’ motion with his hand . A woman ,in the back raised her hand .  
“Yes?”  
“What was Hulk doing in a battle meant to subdue hormonal teenagers?” She said quoting him . He took a deep breath .  
“That would be my fault actually-” quick smile “-You see I didn’t see a lot use in blasting the debris that was being thrown at me , one of the stray pieces hit the van , Mr.Banner was sitting in. The hulk came out to protect him from harm and once talked to , went back just as quick .”  
The woman smirked . Not good, not good .  
“We have inside sources that say you were hung over?”  
“Yeah , really ?” Biting grin “Tell your inside sources the meaning of unfounded accusations , cause that’s what they are .” He could feel Natasha’s stare on the back of his head .  
After that they asked some more questions to Captain America , Black Widow and Thor . One woman reporter gladly flirted with Clint . It was going okay , actually . Just when a brunette directed a question at Bruce.  
“How can we make sure the Hulk won’t ever harm someone , is there a way to take it down?” Bruce’s eyes widened .  
“I-i…” Seeing the situation worsen and his own condition too . Tony spoke up.  
“Be good . You see -the Hulk only hurts the bad guys . So if you don’t want to get hurt , be a good human being , alright , the best thing to put him down is that stupid ass where’s the map and bagpack..show. He’s down like a baby in minutes.” 

Tony winked .The Captain wrapped things with a few sincere words . It was time to leave so he stood up . Too fast . Shit! he thought as he stumbled . _Not here , not now . Don’t betray me right now , you stupid ass body , do this later_ . He commanded himself and made his way back to the car he came from , ignoring the flashes and walking fast . He threw open the door and launched himself in the far corner closing his eyes and putting his head between his knees and clenched his eyes tightly . After a few minutes he spoke up . “To the tower , please.” It wasn’t Happy , the good man would have been concerned but he was with Pepper right now and this was some person who didn’t give a fuck about Tony .

* * *

The team was in the common room , excluding one . Take your guesses . Clint dragged a hand down his face.  
“I’m so exhausted I coulda sleep for a thousand years.”  
Steve was exhausted too (he mentally smiled because they were finally at the point where Steve didn’t have to keep being perfect because he was team captain).  
“Yeah , me too.”  
Bruce was leaning on Thor .( Why was Bruce always leaning on Thor? Was Thor exceptionally good to be leaned on , he’d have to try that..)  
Bucky was sitting on the floor near Natasha’s legs who was petting him like he was a cat . (Not a house cat though , probably a jaguar , silent and predatory )  
Steve frowned as he thought about the missing member . Tony …the one who opened his house ( big ass ugly building in the middle of New York , bullshit . The tower was a very efficient building , Steve knew that now.) for them . Tony who snarked over bad science fiction movies and watched rom-coms with a amusing stare . Tony who always treated Bucky like he was not fragile , not going to break that very second –and shit he really shouldn’t have said what he did in Tony’s lab . He took his anger out on an actually innocent person. That day had been hard on him , talking to the top guns who actually didn’t even know how to hold a gun about Bucky’s past . The Winter Soldier past that is . 

But that didn’t give him an excuse to shout at Tony , he’d have to not-apologize , because Tony got uncomfortable at sorry’s and thankyou’s . Like no one except him could be wrong and whatever he did - it did not deserve any gratefulness .  
Steve sweared that one day he’d make the man realize he was a wonderful beautiful person who deserved love and everything nice in the world because when Tony smiled genuinely , it was as if the stars themselves came to shine down and _ookay not going there right now_ .  
He was disappointed in Tony though . The whole hangover-drinking-fighting-while-hung-over-endangering-teammate part .  
Natasha switched on the television .  
“Here we have some pictures of the genius billionaire superhero Tony Stark , when he opened his face plate mid battle to calm down the Hulk . It is very likely that the genius –who has been to known to be raging alcoholic- is hung-over in this picture .”  
Pictures of a pale grim faced Tony with heavy dark circles beneath the eyes came up .  
“Is this the team who we trust to protect us , really-  
Natasha switched off the television .  
Clint grit his teeth .  
“What is Tony’s problem man ? Every time we seem to be getting there , he just –just fucks it up all.”  
Thor frowned .  
“Indeed the man of Iron has brought great shame to our team by indulging in such irresponsible acts.”  
Bucky spoke , softly .  
“Poor Bruce , he’s going to be thrown in the limelight too.”  
Natasha let out a broken horrible laugh .  
“It’s Tony Stark we are talking about , what else did we expect?” There was a note of something in her voice that Steve knew indicated about her growing protectiveness towards Bruce .

Bruce who everyone thought was asleep spoke from his place on Thor’s shoulder .  
“Tony isn’t the best team player , you already knew that .”  
Natasha nodded .  
Steve spoke up with a heavy heart .  
“He just ...doesn't seem to want to be a part of this.” A part of their weird family .  
They all sighed .  
And tony? Tony silently went back into the lift he’d came up from . His hopes of spending some quiet after battle time with his team – who apparently didn’t even consider him a part of it shattered .

There was no helping Tony Stark he thought bitterly . He couldn’t be helped because he was like this . He couldn’t be fixed because he wasn’t broken . No he was just what he was and no one would probably ever like him for himself . ( except of course the money-sex parts of him , now _that ___he was good at) A equally dark laugh escaped past his lips . He closed his eyes and leaned back as the lift went down to his lab .  
_What a disappointment , tch ._


	4. This is my family .

Coulson stared at Fury . Fury stared back . Coulson did not relent . Fury sighed . Coulson raised an eyebrow , Fury huffed . Coulson smiled .

“Coulson , you are teaching this class.” Fury ( ‘ _the_ ’ spy as eloquently put by Mr. Stark ) barked. But as with the rest of his employees it did not sound like an order . It sounded like a request . Because Fury was smart . Fury had dealt with intergalactic , international , national matters of security , Fury had people on his beck and call who ruled the globe , Fury knew so many secrets that didn’t even _exist_ , Fury _-was scared of Coulson ._

“Okay.”

Fury sighed loudly .

“I’ll give you a three months vacation once you wrap it up.”

Coulson looked amused , before he retreated back to teach the newest recruits of SHIELD –how they should deal with all kinds of exceptional matters (people- _Avengers_ ) .

* * *

 

James Rhodes stared at his commander . His commander looked uncomfortable . Rhodes shifted . His commander wrangled his hands nervously – _how the fuck did this man get so high in the military-_  

  “James.”

“You want me to ask Tony Stark for more suits?” 

“Not me James , the government.”

“No.”

His Commander gaped . Lower ups couldn’t say no to higher ups , could they ?

“Wh-What?”

“I am not asking Tony Stark for more suits , hell if he asks back for this one I’d give it to him . It’s his –he’s doing me , you  , the government a favor by lending-” Rhodey winced as he remembered how exactly the lending had gone- “it . I’m a military man , Sir but you are bringing my personal life into it  , hoping that my friendship with Tony will get you somewhere , it won’t .

Were they even friends now , after what Rhodey had pulled ? Each time he remembered his – stupid , fucked up act- he drowned in guilt .How could he say Tony didn’t deserve his own suit which he made in the middle of a cave ,  getting tortured , with a battery in his chest ?

 _Estupido Estupido , James_ like his Mama says _._ He shuddered as he remembered how much his mama loved Tony and the fact she continuously asked why wasn’t _Tony  her querido hijo ,coming around James?_

Saying ‘I kinda fucked up and stole his suit while he was dying and told him he doesn’t deserve it and then allowed a bastard weasel to work on it and also foolishly got trapped in speaking against him in the senate and--’ yeah that wasn’t going to go well with Mama .

He glanced at his commander again before saluting and moving out .

He didn’t call Tony these days . He asked JARVIS for constant updates , after apologizing to JARVIS as well .

JARVIS had just said snottily

“ I shouldn’t be the one you should be apologizing to.”

Which he knew , of course but he the _fucking war machine_ couldn’t gather enough guts to apologize to his best friend. He needed to do it now. And well he smiled snarkishly , he would also tell tony that military again had their eyes on his suit and to increase the security protocols of War Machine .

A sad attempt to show that Tony was more important to him but whatever , he shrugged and went his inside room .

* * *

 

Coulson entered the room full of the newest SHIELD recruits . Newest as in just passed the recruitment test . He sighed as he saw their unsure, nervous faces . They wouldn’t survive a day in the field with those faces , sure Coulson got scared and nervous too , he wasn’t an android whatever Tony or Clint or Natasha or Bruce said . He wasn’t . He was just very good at hiding his fear .

“Welcome to your special integration class where I will give instructions on how deal with the Avengers as a SHIELD agent , particularly their handler .” Coulson smiled . Someone raised their hand . That was odd , new meat didn’t usually have the audacity to question senior agents . The figure got up and it turned out to be no one else other than -

 “Ms. Darcy?”

“Coulson.” The brunette checked him out before getting up to move in front of the class .

“Yes , Ms.Darcy , may I ask what are you doing here?” He raised a not-impressed-with-you eyebrow while panicking inwardly .

“Why Coulson.” She swung gracefully by him , took the remote from his hand and perched upon the table and looked down at him.

“I was on an undercover mission to retrieve something important.”

“What are you talking about Ms.Darcy ?” Escape routes were close , two down the corridor and one in Fury’s office and-

“You see my mission should I choose to accept it was to retrieve something very important , something whose value you wouldn’t know , so I prepared and trained and endured and passed the physical tests , the psychological tests which believe me I do not know how , the analytical reasoning and here I am and do you know how difficult all that jogging , exercising , fighting is with these?” She held her boobs and pushed them into Coulson’s _definitely not red face ._

“Y-your point?” Coulson would deny to his grave that he stuttered .

“I want my I-pod back , its costly and had seven years worth of songs and I liked it and I want it back.”

“You did this all ..for a I-pod?” Coulson stared at her incredulously .

“Shame on you Dar , Shame on you . The Starkmic device has way more storage capacity than an IPod , songs at way cheaper rate , in high quality no less . Nano particle made earphones and--”

Tony’s face appeared on the screen behind Coulson .

Coulson breathed deeply , he would take up on that vacation  offer . Like _now ._

“What , are you doing here Mr. Stark?”

 “Agent.” Tony nodded at him without answering his question .

“Hey Ironhunk.” Darcy grinned lewdly.

“Back at you taser-babe.” Tony gave her a appreciative look .

“You don’t look too hunky right now.” Darcy spoke cheerfully but there was non-subtle concern behind it . Coulson stared at Tony and found Darcy was right . The man looked-- for a better word dead on his feet . Tony gasped in mock offense .

“Is this how you would treat someone who just sent you the latest Starkmic model with custom upgrades and your music library ?” Darcy gaped .

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“Dude , you are more awesome than Thor and Thor is a god who has a huge hammer  and commands thunder and shit and _wow_ , I mean Jane is going to be so jealous and awesome!.” Darcy looked lost in wonder.

“I know right ! I am the best .Hey children .” Tony waved to the rest of the recruits dismissively and they stared back at him in what Coulson could describe somewhere between awe and confusion.

“Is momma treating you right? If not you are free to go to Dad Fury.” He smothered a giggle behind his grease covered hand .

Coulson sighed , this was not going very well .

“Mr.Stark I would like you to leave us alone now.”

Tony nodded still smiling goofishly .

“Yeah alright , Agent but you gotta check what I made for the field agents , it’s amazing and brilliant if I say so.”

Coulson nodded in hopes that agreeing with this lunatic would make him go away faster .

“So it’s a quasi fluid filled- Tony stumbled as he got up from his seat on nothing and clutched his head.

“Mr. Stark , Tony?” Coulson immediately leaned towards the screen in horror .

Tony tried to wave at him , but his steps grew extremely fumbled and he died .

* * *

 

 

 

Or that’s what Coulson’s heart – beating way too fast to be healthy told him continuously as he saw Tony slumping down .

“JARVIS.” Someone shouted in panic and later Coulson would realize it was him.

“Agent Coulson , Sir has fainted to my best approximations , due to lack of food , sleep , infection-”

 and wow even an A.I could sound worried .

“I’m on my way , inform the team and Miss Potts and – Call a Ambulance or wait no- I am coming down there with a rescue chopper.” He said catching a random pilot by the scruff of his neck while moving towards the Hangar ignoring his protests .

“The Team , Agent Coulson ,I fear are way too far away to reach Sir before you , and Ms.Potts is also on a tour to one of the factories and no one else is close enough to reach Sir right now and his levels are dropping down steadily-” . JARVIS provided a steady stream of information but Coulson’s mind blanked on one thing . The team.

“Where the fuck is _his team_?” He snarled as he pushed the pilot towards the hangar , catching Hill’s eyes and seeing as she directed a team of medics towards the hangar too . She nodded at him before moving out probably to inform Fury that Iron Man was down . He never liked her much but she was almost as efficient as him . Almost .

“ _The team_ is in a bowling alley at a club downtown.” JARVIS put special emphasis on the ‘the team’ as if telling Coulson not to call them Tony’s team . Coulson suddenly got it … or well got it as much as he could while his mind was panicking and organizing and deciding at the same time .

* * *

 

Thirty minutes ago

So Rhodey chickened out . And called Pepper. He had a better idea than _calling_ Tony so it was not chickening out- not really .

 

Pepper Potts was sitting in her car –a little guilty , a little sad ,  okay so like a lot guilty -as Happy drove them to a Stark Factory when she got Rhodey’s call .

“James?” She asked while facing her tablet .

“Pepper!”

“How are you?” They both spoke at the same time . Pepper giggled but then sobered up because Rhodey was the perfect person to talk about this to .

“Okay so remember that time you really messed up?” Pepper asked him . Rhodey cringed .

“Yeah about that--” Rhodey began only to stop as Pepper spoke over like him always . That’s why he hated Pepper and Tony both , they both were great at speaking over people . Usually him . Specially him.

“I think I messed up on an equal level. I mean sure it was Tony’s fault too but Rhodey I was savage in a way I am only with those sexist old coots and I didn’t give Tony a chance to explain even though I know he would have but I didn’t listen to it and you know how I get..” She didn’t rush it out but seemed harried .

As far as Rhodey remembered Virginia Potts had always appeared to be the most logical , reasonable , sane person in front of everyone excluding him and Tony . With them she was just as crazy as the fucking Joker from that movie Batman .

“Uh-

“And I want to say sorry but you know it is so hard to apologize to tony and that’s why I am lucky to have you . So how did you apologize?” She stared at him with googly eyes and expectation .

“Um ..I uh didn’t?” As an example to the craziness of Virginia Potts instead of shouting , screaming or at least disappointment . She started laughing . Hysterically . This was bad , when Pepper got into these moods they usually had to restrain her from taking over the world . Which she could . Easily . So- bad . 

“Um Pep?”

“Hahaha Rhodey we are so screwed.” She giggled again .

“Yes Pep , but remember what we said about not taking over the world even though you totally could ?”

She frowned . This was _bad ._

“But that was going to be my sorry gift.”

“Pep , Tones doesn’t need the world.”

“But he deserves it.” She pouted . “And also that’d be a fun sorry gift to get , please Rhodey?” She stuck her bottom lip out .

“No-Pep.”

“Rhodey I will call Ms.Rhodes on you and tell-

“ _Okaay no.”_ Rhodey said waving his hands around . “ _No , no , NO!”_

Pepper smiled smugly . “So taking over the world it is . I think I will go with scheme beta45 right now –it seems most suitable , I will have to start with the American Government , but that won’t be difficult really--”

 Rhodey face palmed .

Happy stuck his head out from behind the blackout screen .

“This isn’t really any of my business but I um kinda live in the world you are planning to take over-

“Oh Shut up Hogan . I will not behead you.” Pepper said waving her hand around while she worked on her phone as if she was doing Happy a favor .

“Uh-uh why don’t you just do something to SHIELD ? To that guy –what’s his name –Fury . Boss is always bitching about him.” Happy said with a scared look .

“Huh.” Pepper leaned forward . “That’s not a bad idea.”

“That’s a _very bad_ idea.” Rhodes spoke from the Starklet . “How are we going to do it?”

* * *

 

Coulson remembered everything that happened with a dull clarity which _oxymoron_ he knows but . Even the clearest memories were dulled by his worry . He remembered dropping down on the roof of Stark Tower . JARVIS opening all doors for him before he reached near two feet of them , climbing down the stairs to Tony’s lab with the medics , finding him still stumped over . DUM-E , butterfingers and U guarding him with fire extinguishers and wrenches and was that a light saber..?

JARVIS said something to them before they moved away . The medics leaned down , took Tony’s pulse , and then put him on the stretcher . They carried him out to the helicopter , Coulson shouting at them to hurry up . Which he would later look on as a mistake because well they were obviously going as fast as they could and Phil Coulson didn’t lose his cool . But he had . And he didn’t feel as bad about it as he should have .

People always assume that Coulson was a robot (the Non-A.I type and that has to be mentioned because Tony’s robots have emotions) who didn’t have emotions. He didn’t lose his cool , shout or in general get angry with a flaring temper . He was collected and calm . Not cold particularly though .

But they hadn’t really seen Coulson around the people he cared about . Clint , Natasha , Tony . It may be a surprise for a lot of people but Tony was not an assolish jerk all the time . And Coulson had dealt with Clint . So he learned to look past Tony’s masks . (which also started his wonderful friendship with Miss Potts , them sighing over the latest act Tony pulled? ) He learned look over his masks and see the kind man underneath . It may come as a bigger surprise but if Coulson had to choose between Captain America and Tony? He’d choose Tony anytime . Maybe it was because he didn’t know Steve all that well except for his fan-obsession but it was probably because he had a soft spot for Tony . He did not do denial . He knew Tony stirred his heart strings just like Clint and Tasha had . (Well not the same way Clint had ..that was a different stirring . Like a cellist , more like.)

But as he waited outside the white room , the angrier he got . Were his two best agents , not able to look past this man’s masks ? Was the great Captain America or his buddy Barnes too- fooled ? What happened with Bruce and Thor ? He took a deep breath and called JARVIS .

What he learned just gave him a hardened desire to pull the team’s collective ears and put them in a time out .

And then he saw Pepper Potts marching towards the room with an African-American man in uniform – Colonel James Rhodes then- with fire in her eyes . The man didn’t _look_ as pissed but the way he held himself , screamed ‘get out of my way before I maul you over’ .

That gave him a desire to put the team in a secure prison so they both could not reach them . Ever .

He quickly excused himself to the nearby washroom .

* * *

 

“Didn’t I tell you this was gonna be an amazing idea?” Clint wiggled his eyebrows at Steve as they both watched Bucky make another all- strike while Bruce glared at him . Natasha smiled at Bruce , sashayed up to the rink and slowly rolled out her ball . She turned before even seeing if it was a all-strike and winked at Bucky who growled . Clint laughed before calling out .

“Yo Buckaroo ! don’t worry I will protect your honor .”

Bruce stomped up to him while Clint moved towards the balling area.

“How could you put two people with excellent aim in one team?” Bruce looked normal-angry , not I’m going to turn into-green monster angry . Steve tried to offer a smile .

“You have me and Natasha and they have Thor ..it kind of evens out ..doesn’t it?” Bruce checked him out head to toe before snorting .

“No , it really doesn’t.” Steve gaped at him . Bruce pointed at Thor .

“Watch.”

Clint also scored a perfect all out and whooped in Thor’s face who frowned mightily at him . Before grinning .

Oh no , Steve moved to stop whatever scheme Thor had cooked up in his brain that had been influenced by Loki for the past millennium . Before he could though Thor kept his ball down , took out Mjolnir from the bag he brought with him ( a hello kitty one ) and hit the ball like he was playing miniature golf . The ball flied through the air and smashed into the pins and the area . Debris fell upon the pins but the board said ‘all out’ and Thor laughed at Clint’s astonished face .

“You can’t do that with your shield , can you?” Bruce asked thoughtfully . Steve nodded .

They didn’t get kicked out . Mainly because Natasha glared at them when they sent a worker to talk to the team .

 _Yes no we will pay for the damage , okay we won’t do it anymore , yeah hmm_ . That was Clint ‘taking care’ of it while he glared at Steve because Steve refused to exploit them with his innocent expressions .

And then Natasha got a call from Coulson .

* * *

 

“Natasha!” Coulson sighed in relief as she picked up . Everything was going to be alright now .

“Coulson. What happened?” There was concern in her voice for his panicky tone .

“Listen –” .His call got cut as an Avengers alarm blared on everyone’s phone.

Coulson thumped his head on the wall . Once . Twice . Before he opened the door to face his death incarnate.

“Not , now Miss . Potts , there is an Avengers emergency .” She glared daggers at him .He had no doubt in his mind that this woman was going to stab him with her deadly heels then ruin his life corporately . Especially all his investments . Then hire a hit man and get him killed . And after that somehow banish him to the pits of hell .

He bypassed her quickly and took the com from an agent .

“What’s our sitrep JARVIS?” SHIELD had long ago accepted that JARVIS and Coulson saw over all the Avenger missions .

“Um sir JARVIS has shut us off.”

Coulson felt like throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the hallway  . He felt like kicking and screaming . He calmly turned around and went back to Miss Potts .

Pepper refused to help Coulson . At first . That was because she had a demand . A demand so outrageous that it was never going to be accepted in a thousand years . He still asked Fury . Fury spluttered and shouted and probably also shrieked but two legged Piranhas were destroying New York and he didn’t have much choice or time .

Pepper Potts to no one’s surprise won again . JARVIS answered .

“I’ve coordinated the team and their positions and sent Colonel Rhodes to help with War Machine.”

He breathed and it felt like home .

“Good . What is the scenario?”

“The scenario was not intended and the biologist made a mistake .”

“Send SHIELD agents to pick him up.”

“Already done Agent Coulson. The Avengers are just rounding up the few piranhas that escaped .”

“Tune me in.”

“---how down we have fallen , comrades . From fighting the great beasts Chitauri to these sea creatures that do not even belong in the sea.” Thor’s voice did not boom for once . Which meant Tony had created the specially-for-Thor Comm.

“Yeah no kiddin . These are a waste of my arrows . Where is Tony when you need him?”

“Natasha on your left!”

“Thanks Steve.”

“Is the hulk eatin’ them or a’mah eyes hallicunatin’?”

“HULK EAT!”   
Coulson sighed . This was going great . The PR would be amazing .  Hulk eats monster fishes . Applause .

“There Tony- that’s not Tony ,wait the War Machine? What is it doing here ?” Clint’s voice questioned .

Coulson finally had a visual on one of the screens so he saw as the War Machine arrived and started shooting Piranhas left and right . Colonel James was tuned in the comm units but he did not speak up . He may have been super pissed but he knew the value of unbroken attention .

“I’ll explain later Clint .”

“Sure Tony gets a freebie whenever he wants , no need to explain.” Clint’s voice was bitter . And Coulson wanted to smack his head as Col.Rhodes plucked out an arrow from a piranha probably a tasing one and crushed it beneath his fingers . Clint sputtered .

Then Bucky spoke up .

“Uh I wouldn’t know seeing as these fishes are clearly  walking but they are not supposed to beep are they ?” His voice to the end of the sentence clearly turned hysterical .

Steve shouted . “Put that down and get away from it.” On the screen . Coulson saw Bucky throwing a fish’s carcass down and take shelter behind a car but nothing boomed .

JARVIS spoke up . “Sir I just received a signal from the biologist who the Avengers had put down . He seems to have trigger-started their explosion sequence . The piranhas are going to burst in less than ten minutes . I can’t seem to make the sequence stop.”

Coulson’s mouth dropped as he saw the numerous number of fishes scattered around the area .

“Blast radius?”

“Each at least five meters.” JARVIS sounded grim . Because fuck the property damage , there was a real chance that civilians were in danger . The fish had scattered to far off areas and people had been around and-

“Get our best technicians on this.”

“What?” That was Steve.

“Your best ? Where is Tony? What is going on? He didn’t even inform me-

There was growl from Col.Rhodes – ugh Coulson slumped in his seats—

“Listen here you star spangled dickhead , Tony is lying in a fucking hospital room right now , on god knows what medicines and whatever I heard points down to over working and I swear to god once this is over imam gonna kick all ya-” JARVIS shut down Rhodey’s com .

“What?” Steve sounded horrified . “Tony is in a hospital? Coulson what happened to him?”

Coulson breathed . “We can do this late--

“WE ARE DOING THIS NOW!” Steve thundered .  Coulson flinched from the sudden volume when suddenly there was another voice speaking .

“Calm your excellent man tits down Cap. I’m fine – well not _fine_ -fine but _not dying right now_ fine.” It was Tony , anyone could recognize it was Tony . His voice sounded brittle and weak but it was him .

Coulson made a few hand gestures speculating wildly . Maria raised an eyebrow at him . He rubbed his eyes .

“So they woke you up?”

“A hero’s job is never finished Agent.” Tony spoke up fake-solemnly . Coulson kind of wanted to coo and kind of wanted to kick Maria out of the helicarrier .

Steve voiced out his sentiments .

“I’m going to-

“Yeaah okay Cap I’ve managed to stop the timer so my job is done.Get a fish for me to study . Not the fish of course …that’s Bruce’s thing . The explosion-y thingy?” His voice sounded sleepy .

Maria was saying something in her receiver .

“Fuck you Hill , I am not your play toy . Use me when you need me and put me to sleep when you dun-when I get uuup , everyone’s gunna see what kind of porn you watch I swearrr .” Tony slurred through the speakers . 

Maria rolled her eyes before saying –“He’s asleep.”

* * *

 

Bruce had never seen Steve so short with someone.

“I am not coming to your goddamn briefing Fury. Nor is my team.” He shouted down his phone and hung up on the spy .

Bruce had also never seen Natasha look guilty .

“Gluppy chelovek ! Etot chelovek budet smert’ menya!” She muttered angrily .

Bucky chuckled darkly . “Yeah he’s stupid and what are we? World’s best spies-assassins who could not even notice when their own team mate worked themselves into exhaustion?”

Bruce had never seen Thor so quiet or Clint so down .

“I’ve done a grave mistake towards the man of Iron , comrades . I need to apologize to him.”

Clint snorted . “Yeah? Get in line , buddy.”

Bruce had never felt so sad that he couldn’t get angry- but then Bruce had never discovered a man like Tony before . One who was so brilliant but did not know it . So amazing but thought that he deserved nothing . One who was willing to work himself to death to get in the good graces of people he called his friends . ( not very good friends as it turns out ) 

* * *

 

Clint saw Pepper Potts and Col.Rhodes sitting outside Tony’s room on a bench , she sleeping on his shoulder while he worked on his phone. The SHIELD rooms didn’t have chairs inside which -Thank God . He made his way out of the corridor and snuck into a vent . He then dropped straight inside Tony’s room. The man mentioned was lying on the bed , various tubes still coming out of him but no breathing mask at least . He looked pale and beaten , and _how the ever loving fuck_ had Clint not seen this? Seen his partner asshole do this to himself?

He eased into the room , kept the coffee he had brought with him on a side table – _he was pretty sure giving coffee to Tony was yet not allowed , but he was never one to follow rules anyway –_ and the slip of paper containing a message from him near it too . He then snuck back out . Unnoticed .

  _Dearest fucking asshole_

_You may think that I became your friend cuz of your money and shit and at first I probably did . But that’s me – always so shallow but listen here ya fucking loser , you? You  are one of the best men I know and you’ve saved my ass countless times . On the field and off too . ( yeah im talking about that shitty night we are not supposed to talk about ) You gave me a horrible pep talk about Loki and mindfuckery but it actually I don’t know how the fuck -worked . You don’t need to prove anything to us . Especially when we’re all being such dicks . And also you already have . Thanks for giving me a home and a family ya big moron . I’ll properly apologize when your laaady isn’t sitting outside like a dragon_

_Yours , birdbrain ._

_BOW CHICKA WOW WOW_

_Loool bye_

Okay so no ever said Clint was the pinnacle of maturity . But he was the first one to apologize , so suck on that James Barnes .

* * *

 

 

Pepper woke up , sometime later when Rhodey shook her , she wiped the drool she leaked on Rhodey’s shoulder while he smiled at her .

“No one can be perfect . Always .” She grumbled .

“Yeah , yeah Tony woke up .” She sat up straight and brushed her hair with her fingers . “He doesn’t care about your appearance Pep , he’s seen you not bath for three days straight.”

She glared at him but got up and they both moved inside .

And found Tony drinking coffee while reading something .

* * *

 

Tony woke up and his sides did not feel like they were dying . Neither did his head feel like there were bombs going off everywhere . His ankle felt fine too .  Ah! Still on the good meds then . The light wasn’t too bright and everything was perfect . Too perfect .

He groaned as he thought about all the time he wasted –lying here on a bed – while he could have been inventing or working ---hm wait was that coffee? He sniffed again and then turned to his side .

It _was_ coffee .

There was a God!

He opened the message lying near it while he sipped the coffee .

Oh no it was only Clint Barton .

And then Pepper came in .

 _“Anthony Edward Stark is that coffee , you are drinking?!”_ She shrieked .

“Uh hello to you to Pep.” He waved tentatively .

She moved across the room like a tornado and snatched the coffee from his hand .

“Hey um Pep listen I –

“You are going to apologize to me.” She said while nodding and taking a sip out of his coffee .

“Uh ye-

“For all the wrong reasons though .” She interrupted .

“What?”

“If you have to apologize then apologize for _not telling_ me that you were overburdened , tired and sick . Not for _being_ over burdened, tired and sick. That apologizing to some other people will be doing soon enough.” She smiled evilly .

“Uh Pep you are scaring me now…” Then she decided to scare him even more .

“Oh Tony.” She sniffed .

He looked helplessly towards Rhodes . Rhodes mouthed ‘all you’ at him . Dickhead .

“I was so worried and I felt horrible and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t see behind your stupid masks and for being such a horrible friend.” Her eyes filled up as she ranted .”I mean sure , you could have informed me but I was so stupid too , I should have asked you and inquired but did I ? Nooo.” She wailed a little .

“There , there Pep.” He awkwardly tried to hug her .

“Do you forgive me?” She blinked at him .

“It is pretty hard to forgive you when it was not your mistake-

“Noo.” She wailed again .

“Uh uh yeah I mean I totally forgive you , for being such a horrible friend . Done and over.” He floundered and waved his hands around in panic .

She smiled at him . Phew !

“Oh Rhodes wants to apologize too.” Now it was Rhodey’s turn to flounder and stare with betrayal in his eyes at her .

“Yeah , yeah I do.”

“Uh , you?” Tony didn’t get it . Why would Rhodey apologize?

“Um for stealing your suit and saying you do not deserve it and for being roped into speaking against you at the senate and for letting that asshole hammer work on it and not supporting you when you most needed me .” He breathed . Okay apologizing made a person feel like a lot better .

Tony blinked at him cutely .

Or not . Specially if the person who you are apologizing to does not even feel like you did something wrong.

Rhodey again took a deep breath and

“Listen man what I did was a shitty thing and I should have said sorry earlier . You deserve the suit and everything more and if you ask for War Machine , I’d give it to you happily  -You made that suit in hell with scraps . There is no one who deserves it more than you.”

Tony looked horrified . “No , No I don’t want it back . It’s yours . I outfitted it for you .”

Rhodey smiled at him . “Okay brat , but do you understand that I was wrong and I should have apologized?”

Tony thought deeply for a second .”Yeah..”

“Good. Also if you could do me favor? Come to dinner this thanks giving ? Mama will eat me with the turkey if you don’t .” Tony brightened up visually and laughed .

* * *

 

 Pepper and Rhodey went back to the tower . Pepper for Stark Industries work and Rhodey to check up on the place . Tony was being released in the evening – AMA of course . They wanted to keep him under observation for the night . Bloody stalkers . Tony thought while grinning .

Natasha was pacing outside his door , holding something yellow and green in her hands when Bruce just swung by to check on Tony .

“Natasha is that sorry gift?” He smiled at her amusedly .

She did not meet his eyes . His smile got softer .

“Look Natasha apologizing to someone is not a weakness . Specially to someone who we love and is precious to us . Loving is not a weakness either . Our nature is never our weakness .   People who think it is have never loved anyone . But you love Tony , we all love Tony in our own way . He’s given us a home and a family and everything we asked for and more .We did wrong by him to not see past his masks and judging him without asking his reasons .” He spoke while still smiling .

She nodded while going inside and he went back to his lab . He’d say sorry later .

The door creaked open . And Natasha entered . Tony waved excitedly .

“Hey Tasha what’s uppp?” His dose was still on then if he was acting this goofy and open, she noticed ,smiling .

“Here” She pushed the soft woolen scarf in his hands .

“What is this?”

“One of the only things I brought with myself to America when I escaped from the Red Room.”  He stared at it in amazement .

“It’s reallllyy prettyyy and cosyy .” His eyes twinkled when he smiled at her and handed back the scarf .

“No , No kotenyok , it’s for you.” She pushed it back .

“For me?”

“Yes , something to show you that I love you and I care about you . That you are important to me.”

“I –uh..” He looked up at her in wonder . How could she not have seen this man behind all those masks ? This was Tony Stark  . “Take it , it is yours now .”

“Okay.” He held the scarf close to him and she sat down in the chair , protecting him as he went back to sleep .

* * *

 

Thor took him back to the tower . He had asked this alone time from the lady Potts , by giving her flowers as his beloved Jane had told him to . She agreed while glaring at him . Thor shuddered . He had fought far bigger creatures than her , but he found Lady Potts the scariest .

“Hey big guy.” Tony smiled at him .

“Man of Iron , I must apologize.” Thor leaned down on his knees and bought out the second bouquet from behind his back .

“What –Thor , Get up !” Tony waved his hands around frantically . He took the bouquet and motioned at Thor to get up .

“Tony , I have learnt that you are much like a onion , with layers.” Thor said solemnly.

 Tony gaped at Thor . He couldn’t honestly tell if Thor was trolling him right now .

“And I must learn to look past these layers . Lady Darcy says you are a big softie at heart.” He said next .

“I am not a softie at heart .” Tony looked affronted . “I’m a ruthless businessman and Ironman and I’m scary and-

Thor bopped him on his nose .

“Man of Iron , you are adorable.”  
  
 Thor helped him to his room , all the while smiling at him , like he was some sort of child and Tony honestly wanted to growl . He was –not big- okay but scary . He fell asleep curled like a kitten though and Thor slowly covered him up .

* * *

 

 Steve was sitting slumped on the island in the kitchen when Bucky went to retrieve water for Tony who was back in the tower . He had delivered his sorry in the form of telling Tony that he trusted him to install a new arm instead of the Hydra one. - _No Tony , no stereo system please , no flame thrower either –_ Bruce was there right now .

“You all right punk?”

“Hmm? Hmm.” Steve looked up and then slumped again .

“That’s offending . I mean I  know my ass is not as good at Tony’s but-

That got Steve up like a spring .

“Bucky!” He shot up mortified .

“Or my eyes as what was the word you used ? Amber? Amber . I know my eyes aren’t as amber or my eyelashes that pretty , nor my lips that kissable , nor my dick that-

Steve blushed so hard while pushing him sideways to get some water .

“Bucky _stoop .”_ He whined .

“Okay punk . Just apologize to him later and tell him you’ve got the sweets for him okay?”

“I should have never told you.” He muttered as he went out of the room .

______________________________----

Bruce looked at Tony while bandaging him up .

“Hulk is sorry , you know . I’ve never felt sorry from him . But he is right now . I feel it . So am I . Both of us are.” He didn’t look up . Tony didn’t stare at him either . He had genuinely felt bad about Bruce not taking his side . He had though that he and Bruce had a friendship-

“Tony , I’ve been running for the past four years but you’ve finally given me home . A place where I feel safe . You’ve given me and Hulk all the love you could and we finally don’t feel scared . I am so sorry that I did not believe in you when I should have and I don’t expect you to forgive me-

“I do.”

“You don’t have to-

“I don’t have to but I am because I want to push this behind us and have you be my science buddy again.”

Bruce’s eyes were wet when he did look up .

“Thank you Tony.”

Tony smiled .

“We’re friends , aren’t we?”

“Yes , yes we are.”

* * *

 

When Tony woke up after what felt like a hideous routine of just sleep  , it was due to a knock on his door .

He coughed before speaking up .

“Come in.”

In came Steve . Carrying soup .

“Hey Tony , you’ve not eaten for so long , that Clint and Bucky got worried and made some soup for you.”

“Uh..”

“I will send in Natasha or worse Pepper if you don’t eat it.”

Tony muttered petulantly . “You are evil.”  Steve chuckled . He came forward and placed the tray on the bed and stared at Tony until Tony got up .

He then sat down beside him and picked up the bowl and held up a spoonful of soup . Tony stared incredulously at him . Did Steve think he couldn’t feed himself ? He opened his mouth to retort but Steve started speaking .

“When I first came to the future , I had no one.” He stared at the wall behind Tony .

“I was alone and out of time and so depressed _and then_ you guys happened to me . You dragged me into this century kicking and screaming and I never felt happier . You helped find Bucky and then helped find  _Bucky_ in that shell of him . Tony you mean a lot to me and I am so sorry that I didn’t manage to see the real you when you most needed us . That day when I shouted at you? I was so wrong . I knew you didn’t mean to call Bucky a machine , just his arm . I was just so angry and I took it out on you . I am sorry , -I-” His voice broke and he gulped .

Tony sucked on the spoon watching him .

Steve smiled and filled up the spoon again .

“I was wrong about you , you aren’t good at making first impressions . But that’s because you were taught not to – ” His voice grew angry . “If I could go back in time and punch Howard , I would.” Tony stared at him . Wasn’t Howard Steve’s friend?”

It was like Steve read his mind .

“People change and he changed for the worse . He clearly didn’t value the most precious thing God had blessed him with.” Steve smiled at him softly . They spent the rest of time with Tony eating the soup and thinking hard . While Steve hand-fed him and watched his brain work fondly .

When the soup finished , Tony quickly leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Steve’s lips before drawing back and looking at him hesitantly .

“Was that okay?”

“More than okay .”  Steve said as he leaned back in .

* * *

 

Four months later .

Everything was greater than even before the –T incident . The team came together even more beautifully . Natasha and Pepper were more than over protective over Tony . They schemed together and got _Nick-fucking-Fury_ to apologize to Tony  in front of the whole goddamn SHIELD . 

Bucky , Clint and Bruce constantly cooked and started ‘team dinners and breakfasts and lunches’ . Natasha and Tony cooked sometimes too . Steve wasn’t allowed in the kitchen . That man could burn water .   _AndTony couldn’t do that ._ Thor was a baker . He baked heaps of midguardian delicacies and made everyone eat them .

It was a morning scene . Clint was complaining .

“I cooked yesterday , didn’t I cook yesterday? I did . I am not cooking .” Everyone stared at him . He whined and whined . Tony gave in while grumbling under his breath .

“Get off.” Tony pushed Clint away .

 Bucky cheered . Tony cooked phenomenally . Clint did too , but Tony cooked with way more love- he giggled with that thought in his mind . Tony donned a green apron that said ‘thank the cook’ and began taking out pots and pans for cooking his scrambled eggs and whatever else he felt like that morning .

Bruce walked in the room , Natasha supporting him lightly because he looked all sleep rumbled .

Bucky whistled low . “Pulled an all nighter did you ?” Natasha smirked .

“Not in the lab though.” Bruce blushed and stared at her in betrayal . Tony keeled over laughing as Bucky and Clint gaped .

“You guys are so clueless . They’ve been fucking- making love-having sex- fonduing for weeks.” Tony choked out while giggling .

Steve came from his morning run and brought Thor with him . Thor was holding a small kitten . The team had adopted the kitten after its SHIELD owner died in the line of duty . Her name was Laila .

“Laila , my one and only love , you have betrayed me too?” Bucky wailed .

Laila looked from her place in Thor’s arms and flicked her tail at him . Thor grinned .

“Thou not a good enough lover , Bucky.” He teased . Bucky mock gasped .

“Did you just doubt my lover-powers?”

“You are such a dork.”Clint said eating a cherry .

“And you’re not?”

“I have a man fucking me into the bed sheets every other night , he also brings me flowers and chocolates .” Clint said popping another cherry .

“What?” Bucky said horrified. “You?”

“Coulson will take offence to that and protect my honor.” Clint  grinned back .

“Coulson ..you? what..? My life sucks.”

Steve grinned at Bucky . “Yeah it does.” He took Tony at the waist , dipped and kissed him thoroughly.

Tony came back up dazed . Everyone groaned , Bucky extra loudly .

“Mom and Dad shouldn’t kiss in front of children.” Natasha said .

Tony kept a hand at Steve’s chest . “He’s the mom. I’m the dad right?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at Tony’s outfit .

“Listen young lady ..do not stereotype gender roles……” Tony started ranting . Bucky was making faces at Clint who was hitting him with cherries .  Bruce was trying to take the cat way from Thor who was holding it up way over his head so Bruce couldn’t reach it .  Steve looked around at smiled . They were a family , a weird , stupid and honestly crazy family but a family . Or as Darcy said – ‘Ohana’ . That meant no one got left behind , ever again .

Tony stopped ranting . “I could set you up with Darcy?”  

Bucky’s eyes popped out .

“Uh.”

THE END ^_^ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINISHED IT I FINISHED IT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND , i have never finished anything i have written ever before and i did it because of you all . You guys are the most amazing , supportive and loving people ever and i am thanking everyone who took out time to give me a kudos , drop me a comment or bookmark this thing . Thankyou so much . This isn't anything special . In my laptop , it is saved by the name -overworked trope- which pun i know im hilarious but this trope is so overused but you guys still liked it and i am so thankful to you all .   
> I have a new idea involving a drabble in medieval-but-kinda-modern au . Its Tony centric too . I'll post that soon too so if you wanna read a princely tony kicking ass alongside the Avengers then be my guest . BE MY GUEST PLEASE *sob*   
> Love you loads   
> ash

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading , please leave kudos ? they act as my chocolates [ which everyone knows , is the absolute best thing to motivate you . The increasing weight , rotting teeth part i conveniently choose to forget .]  
> Constructive criticism is more than welcomed .  
> There will be three chapters in total . I'll put up the next soon . (two days *at most* )


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